...to be or not to be

Ok, so I find myself at and interesting stage of my life. I am now, 35, I am in between being married and single, I have 4 children, I think I look pretty good, and I seem to be attractive to the opposite sex.

I had two sort of 'relationships' in this past year. One was with an old High School Boyfriend whom I adore (and still do) and one was with a guy that I met off of Facebook whom sold me the stars and gave me the rocks. Hes an ass, and always will be :D

Ok so here is my dilemma, not sure if that is the right word....ok

I believe there are two types of woman.
1. Casual Sex Types
2 Non Casual Sex Types

I am more of a number 2 because I can have sex (pretty ok with that ) but then emotions come into and I start to feel bad about myself, the whole giving the milk away for free, when he didn't buy the cow (expression). As well, I wonder why I can't find a good man and have sex at the same time, I am a catch, I am a good person, I am lovely.

So, now......

I have had a semi casual sexual relationship with BF from High School because he is safe, familiar, I know his history and hes gooooood.

I have been propositioned by someone else now and I am considering it. He is a guy I used to work with, I don't know a whole lot about him, his name, where he lives, he has a cat, but he is leaving at the end of July. This would be a once only kind of thing and I am on the fence.....not to mention I feel a little guilty about BF and I know thats crazy, because its a casual thing.....I am so fuuuuuucked up.

A wise person told me once (ok it was Jenn) that we are not casual sex type girls

easy yes...casual no :D

me thinks i have got it....

Ok so its been quite a while since I last posted...but ya know life gets in the way and takes you down a crazy road. The days meld into each other and before you know weeks have passed.

I digress...

Ok so I too have joined the online dating scene (see what i do for my friends) and I think I have sort of come to some conclusions.

1. I either get men who are like jail bait or ...who are waaaaay to old....the ones who are in the 'range' are either psychotic looking or ....well less than savoury - call me shallow...meh whatever.

2. If they dont have their picture its for a goooood reason.

3. Today I have a married man hitting on me....WTF!

ok...i am not taking it tooo seriously and quite frankly I am using it to stalk the fish that got away......