Therapy letter

Dear ....,

I am not sure why I still think about you. It could be a certain song, or a smell, or something someone says but I instantly have a flash of a memory and it makes my heart hurt. I still cry sometimes because of you. I always thought I had abandonment issues because of ........(ex husband) but now I think it was because of you. I loved you and I thought we would always be together, I thought you were my soul mate and then one day my dreams, my thoughts, my heart shattered to a billion pieces.

I have never recovered since 1991. I went on to other relationships and I even got married. I learned a thing or two and we reconnected and I didnt want to believe, I didnt want to get attached to you because I was so afraid. I kept telling my self to be careful and not fall in love with you again.

But I did. I fell hard. In fact, I realize now I never stopped loving you since the day you asked me out in Grade 12.

The part that hurts the most is that I was there for you. I helped you through a lot. I helped you feel good about yourself again. I would do it again in a second. But you are not there for me. You said you would still be my friend even after you started seeing her. Its been almost a year since I heard your voice. Its been a couple of months since you made contact with me. You lied to me.

I just want you to know that I am happy for you that you found someone to be with you. I would be lieing if I said that I didnt wish it was me. Everyone deserves to be happy. I would trade all the nights we had together if you would only be my friend again. I miss you in my life.

As I sit here writing this letter I hope that one day I can get over the feeling that maybe one day you will realize that you love me as much as I love you.

Take Care