Nacho Mama....

Today is the day......

2011-02-26T06:11:00.000-08:00

Today is the day to which I get inked for the second time. I am not really nervous yet.....I mean I have a tattoo so I do know what to expect. Its like childbirth in a way as you 'forget'. You forget the pain and the anxiety and then euphoria.....but you swear at that moment that you will never ever go through that pain again. Then 2 years later......and then three years later.....then two years after that.

But my point is I am excited more than nervous. I am however worried about my litte friend Jenn. I will be there for her in all ways possible and take numerous pictures to catalog the event!!! :D

Hey! I am not the virgin this time!!!!!

whoohoooo

scarlet letter.....

2010-09-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

I'm baaaack.....

so I am on POF agaaaain...not sure why I do this to myself. Nonetheless, I have been a couple of dates but yet to have sex. Its been 5 months, which for me is a bit of a dry spell.

My problem is we go on a few dates, but because I am honest, I tell them I have an std so that its not during or before the heat of the moment.

Well telling them this makes them run the other way. So I have a few options....

a) Go on the dating website for leppers like me. :D

b) Continue down this road and become more bitter and resentful :(

or
c) Invest in a toy and a super duper multipack of batteries.

I am seriously considering the latter.

C

you know you're a mom when.....

2010-09-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

So its been a while since my last post. But I think I think to much and I think I think I should write something wordy and witty. I don't have time for that hahhaha....soo....here it is.

You know you're a mom when they the children don't bug you all day until you are on the phone.........

off and running

C

the test

2009-08-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

In light of interesting relevations.......I decided to try something.

I wanted to test just how 'over' I was.

So I searched. I searched him, then I searched his ex wife, then I searched his current girlfriend/wife/mother of his child.......

and......

a little bit dark and twisty.....but the good news is, I told myself the little speech I tell myself.

And I am good.

.....and she's fat!!!!!!!!! ahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

Moving Day....#1

2009-06-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

So here we go.......

I was gonna be getting a big truck for all my crap....(which incidentally I eliminated sooo much but still had alot of stuff) but the Uhaul people are asshats. So my step dad borrowed this 18ft quad trailer. ....

with tarps....

:S

It is just him and me loading boxes and bits and pieces on this trailer and hes tying down the tarps and my neighbour, who is 106, comes over with her cane saying that the SD had put a big crack in her driveway (insert eye roll here). The crack had grass in it! It was on the wrong side that the truck was even on!....gotta love old people.

Anyways.....

sailing down the highway and the tarp is blowing in the wind. Had to stop a few times (10) and fix it.

Just as we were slowing down to turn off the main highway, a box from the front of the trailer comes flying out at me.....bounces and explodes....white, black, and pink things. I am thinking what the hell was that?

I run down the highway to survey the damage of the box and the contents, to find out what the contents were.......

my
friggen
underwear.

I never packed a box so fast in my life.

Can't wait to see what happens today :D

decided

2009-06-15T07:28:00.000-07:00

I have decided

Moving....

2009-06-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

I am moving on.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Mentally.

I have got an adventure ahead of me and it is so over due. I am leaving one small town to go to another small town with lots of family and I am very excited.

I have let go of the past heartache mostly, (not completely as I don't think thats possible), and looking ahead to all that lies before me. On a facebook test it said I was to meet my true love by accident. I am not looking anymore. What is meant to be will be.

I have grown and learned and came out the other side a happier healthier individual with alot to offer and give. :D

in other words.......blah blah blah......fuck'em

;)
teehee

Therapy Letter 2

2009-05-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

Dear B,

First I would like to say that I am sorry. Sorry for letting you see that unfortunate side of me. I wasn't sure how you felt about me and then I overreacted and became insecure, in turn, showing my 'crazy'.

I am not apologizing for the way that I am. I am an emotional girl and yes sometimes I get insecure. I have a lot of good qualities that you did not take the time to see. You saw the crazy and bailed. Thats ok. It doesn't make you any less of a person and I don't blame you.

However, I am a great person with lots of love to give and would make an excellent girlfriend/lover/companion/best friend to someone someday. Quite frankly, it is your loss. I will always be your friend.

C

In conclusion......

2009-05-25T13:14:00.001-07:00

I have made some conclusions. Thats a weird word.

Anyways, I have come to the realization that online dating will not find me the person I am supposed to be with. It will get me a reasonable facsimile and then that person will pass me over and pick someone else. For some reason I am that girl. The liasion between shitty and 'the one'.

So be it. I am ok that I was 'that' girl. I am not sure I want to be her anymore. I am going to be Cassie. Mr. Right, whomever he is, is out there somewhere. If I meet him tomorrow or 20 years from now, I am ok with that. I am good. My self esteem is getting bigger and stronger everyday. I don't need a man to make me happy. Frigger thats what electronic devices are for.......

-ahem- anyways.......

news

2009-05-12T19:40:00.001-07:00

This last weekend was interesting.

I got great news and I got some not great, horrible actually, news.

A friend of a friend of mine passed away. One second she was here, the next she was gone. She truly was a great person who had that personality that you just couldnt get enough of. She will be missed.

It really makes you consider life. It makes you stop and examine your self and what you have done and what you have yet to do.

It makes you wonder. Would you have done anything different if your own life, as you know it, would suddenly stop?

Me for example, have four little kids, an ex who is (not sure what word to put here), a family that loves me and alot of friends.....old and new.

I would not change a thing up til now, because the things that have occured have made me the person I am today. I would keep on living my life to the fullest everyday. I will however look into maybe making a will so that my kids are looked after in the event that something would happen.

But its not going to....because WE have a deal ;)

Gore sex is best done in the dark.

2009-05-07T20:34:00.001-07:00

yep....that just about says it all.

enjoy.

wow

2009-05-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

So I am driving back from taking my kids to the bus stop this morning and I am semi listening to the radio and I hear this..........

I guess there was some contest somewhere that someone had about the best job or something.( I was clearly paying attention)..and anyways this man from australia won. He gets paid alot of money (131,000 dollars, don't quote me) to sit on a tropical island and take care of it and then blog about it.

Wow....now thats a contest.

ping.....and the light goes on

2009-05-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have had a bit of an epiphany. I received some news the other day, it wasn't good and it wasn't bad it just 'was'.

The man that I wrote the therapy letter about is going to be a father. I was sad and not really sure why. I thought it was because there would never be a chance for him and I. I think now I was sad simply because I was worried for him. He just got out of a long marriage that wasn't the best. He had a rebound relationship (Me) and then started seeing this other girl. He has been with her for less than a year, he bought a house and are now having a baby. I am worried that he is going down a road that perhaps will end badly.......
I truely hope it doesn't. I mean that sincerely. I am now able to say that it was not meant to be or it would have happened for him and me. My fate is always ongoing. I am happy being me. I am always learning and growing. I am going to be just fine.

:D

fate.....

2009-05-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

So rethinking the whole online dating thing. I have had lots of interest. Some genuine some sleazy all in all a positive experience.

I just don't know if this is the way I am supposed to meet my person. I know several people who have met their significant other on a website such as this but I just don't know if its the way its supposed to be.

I am a believer in fate and it seems that I guess I am feeling that I am tampering with it. I guess I will still go with it, get some dates out of it, and meet some people. If that 'person' is out there then I will meet him somehow.

Trying to stop controlling and fixing the things in life I can't fix. ie. Loving someone I can't have and has moved on with someone else. It happens. I cried. I picked myself up and dusted myself off.

On with it I go.

ummm....

2009-05-02T06:36:00.000-07:00

So I lay in bed and I think as I am drifting off to sleep. Sometimes this is good and sometimes my brain doesn't shut off. Most of the time I think to myself 'that would be an excellent post for the blog'. When it comes to me sitting here and typing it out do you think I can remember what I was going to say?

No

Sorry I have nothing brilliantly funny to say.

Gone Fishin

2009-04-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

I am back on the elusive online dating sites. A little more jilted, a little more selective and a LOT more wise.

May or may not find what I am looking for but nothing ventured nothing gained.

a taste of the crazy.....

2009-04-08T01:00:00.000-07:00

So being in a relationship I think is not what I am looking for.

I was with Mr. Big Black Man for two months ish and we talked on the phone and texted alot and saw each other frequently. The last visit to me, for some reason, annoyed me. He was underfoot and his jokey comments......irked me.

So then he leaves. And his crazy starts to show. His needy side starts to show.

So I ended it.

Better for both of us.

Back to the Harem I go :D

Therapy letter

2009-04-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

Dear ....,

I am not sure why I still think about you. It could be a certain song, or a smell, or something someone says but I instantly have a flash of a memory and it makes my heart hurt. I still cry sometimes because of you. I always thought I had abandonment issues because of ........(ex husband) but now I think it was because of you. I loved you and I thought we would always be together, I thought you were my soul mate and then one day my dreams, my thoughts, my heart shattered to a billion pieces.

I have never recovered since 1991. I went on to other relationships and I even got married. I learned a thing or two and we reconnected and I didnt want to believe, I didnt want to get attached to you because I was so afraid. I kept telling my self to be careful and not fall in love with you again.

But I did. I fell hard. In fact, I realize now I never stopped loving you since the day you asked me out in Grade 12.

The part that hurts the most is that I was there for you. I helped you through a lot. I helped you feel good about yourself again. I would do it again in a second. But you are not there for me. You said you would still be my friend even after you started seeing her. Its been almost a year since I heard your voice. Its been a couple of months since you made contact with me. You lied to me.

I just want you to know that I am happy for you that you found someone to be with you. I would be lieing if I said that I didnt wish it was me. Everyone deserves to be happy. I would trade all the nights we had together if you would only be my friend again. I miss you in my life.

As I sit here writing this letter I hope that one day I can get over the feeling that maybe one day you will realize that you love me as much as I love you.

Take Care

music 2

2009-01-28T17:55:00.001-08:00

ok don't know what i did .....anyways

I love music.

I love the meaning it has behind it and the way it makes me feel.

Sometimes it cheers me up and sometimes it makes me sad and to tears.

I love to dance to funky songs and sing along when no one is watching.

I love certain lyrics and often think about them later on.

I love music.

FUCK!

2009-01-21T06:59:00.000-08:00

So I have been passed over .....again.

I am really tired.

Tired of the pain. Tired of the self esteem hit I take everytime. What the hell is wrong with me? What defect do I have that repels them? I am so tired. FUCK

I am too old for this. I am too old to try and figure out what I do wrong in relationships and never really given the opportunity to fix anything before I am passed over.

Just once I would like someone to PICK ME.....pass over the other girl
CHOOOOOOSE ME!
LOOOOOVE ME!

FUCK IT!

I am so done.

The wall is around the heart again, it is very fragile, and its going to take alot for it to come down.

:(

Funk resumes.

more whining with a side of revelation....

2009-01-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

Ok so here is the thing......

I really don't understand people sometimes. I was seeing said guy from my 'crazy' blog and then he stops talking to me. All together, I tried he ignored me. After a few more insult to injury I finally realize that HE is not worth my time nor my tears. So I deleted him from everywhere. I talk to my half brother who introduced us and gave him a heads up. I told him that I felt more for HIM then he felt for me ....it happens...we learn we grow we move on. (jenn liked it and so did i) My half brother said that HE didnt think I was ready for a relationship. What???! I said....

here comes the revelation part......

I have been told this before in round about sort of ways from other guys. But they all see something I don't see. I think now I see it. I need to get off the roller coaster before I get on the Ferris Wheel. (wow metaphor)

I think I need to get divorced from the crazy man before I think about embarking on a NEW adventure. This means I will not go looking for love, but if love were to find me, well then its meant to be that way.

So....there is my whine for the day.

Have a little whine with that blog.

2009-01-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

HELLOOOO fellow bloggers.

Ok I realize that its been much much much to long since I have written anything on here. Not to say that I don't have anything to say as well I have alot of useless stuff to say. I think life just got in the way and days turn into weeks and then months....I think i have said that before....deja vu.

Anyways, my very insightful friend Jenn told me to whine on here instead of spreading my 'crazy' around. So I thought I will get peoples opinion on the crazy.

So here is the scenario.......

I met this very nice man at my half brothers wedding on December 5th. We hit if off and danced and talked then hung out all day the next day. The following day he asked half brother for my phone number and he called.

so far so good right......ok

He calls me every other day and we chat, we text back and forth all day. We meet at the end of December to finish Christmas shopping, we kiss in Walmart for the first time right there in the toy department. It was really good. We go out for dinner we do more shopping we make out alot in his truck.

He comes back to my parents condo downtown and meets them. They give the thumbs up....

you all still with me.......ok

Christmas comes and goes....and new years eve is upon us. I am in Calgary with my kids and I have plans to go out with Jenn. Having minor dress issues, realized that we will have to walk blocks , like 10 blocks, in high heels in the snow...so go to Jenn's. She as well is having dress issues and other issues but we eventually get it all organized and we decide to wear appropriate shoes and take our high heels. We are on the train....and after many stops we decide to screw it and go back to her house and veg out on the couch :D We go to DQ's as its the only place open and then go to 7-11 as its the only place that sells snacks and drink mixins ...go back to jenns....and we are watching movies and i am texting man and decide that perhaps i may get me some sex. I ask jenn if she would not mind terribly if i went to his house for midnight so i can get me some sex. And being the bestest friend in the whole world she said go for it. (still owe you for that one ;))

I get there at 11:50....we kiss in front of his parents. I meet his parents. We play yahtzee we kiss at midnight. Lots of hugging and such, hand on my leg........everyone leaves and we well....

it was awesome.

I hang out with him and his son all day new years day, we go out for pizza with his parents. All was well or so I thought. I text him that night to see if he wanted to bring his son and go swimming at my parents pool the following night.

I never got a text back.

I never got a text the next day.

No phone call when I got back to the mountains on Sunday.

I phoned a couple of times and texted a couple of times.

It is now January 11 and its gone from texting and phone calls to a handful of texts. Now granted I know he works and he has family stuff but come on. I was on MSN yesterday and I had some free time as the asshat had the kids but he was busy and couldnt say when he could see me. He was taking stuff to the dump and the second hand store ....they all eventually close I could have come over to watch a movie.....I eventually said that I wasnt happy as I missed him and I wasnt sure if he missed me. He went offline. No response.

So I offlined messaged him and said that I liked him very much but I need him to be honest with me.

Got nothing.

So my questions to you all is this.........

1. Was I used
2. Did I come across too needy and pathetic

Thanks for the whine :D
c

Word of the Month

2008-09-23T05:21:00.001-07:00

This definition is in accordance with Cassipedia......

Thinger
Part of Speech: noun mostly

Pronounciation: [thing-er]

Definition: An object that replaces many an object. It can mean a variety of things.

Usage: "Look, that belt thinger has come off" "My thinger is in the back of my computer" "Whats his profile thinger"

There is the word of the month, please proceed with caution.

Marco..........Polo!

2008-09-22T07:03:00.000-07:00

teehee

So I ventured out to Calgary saturday to tart it up with Jen and I had lined up two dates for sunday.

Saturday we go shopping and we come back to Jens and we are like......hmmmm do we wanna go out still.......hmmm sitting on the couch chatting and drinking and watching movies sounds good.

But in the end, we got all dressed up, we boarded the train, we walked, we drank, we ate and we had a really great time. No men. Lots of people which surprised us both.

Two Caramel Kiss Martinis and a plate of Sweet Potatoe Fries later.....we are back on the train, giggly and tipsy.....awesome.

We do some more hanging out at Jens I did some online chatting with one of my dates for the following day, and a couple of others, and Jens guy wasn't there....sorry Jenn. :(

We go to bed.

Now Sunday.......I have two dates lined up....

Bachelor #1 - I met him on POF, very litle in his profile, but cute nonetheless. When we would chat on MSN he would all of a sudden go offline, and he would say his computer crashed....I brought this up to Jen and shes like....hmmm I think he might be married. Days and days go by without contact, I left him an email as to where I would be and ....still didnt hear from him. Got a little suspicious and not to confident that he would show.

Bachelor #2 - I met this one on Lavalife. Very cute. Hes a Vice Principal and a teacher. Really sweet, a real genuine nice guy, but he wasn't emailing much so I was gonna see how the date went and then maybe write him off. We had done some texting and msn'ing and I could tell he was great....but still being cautious.

Sunday morning, after much teeheeing and getting ready, we decide to go to tims where I am supposed to meet B#1. Still not confident, I am very lucky to have a great friend like Jen :D . Go to start the van, and I can't steer it, no power steering....put it in reverse, try to move it, put it in drive try to move it....nothing. I pop the hood and pretend I know what I am doing and notice that some sort belt thinger had come loose. So I think....well this is great :D ahahahahah.....

We decide to go and eat, then I will phone the tow truck and get it towed to local place to get fixed. I thought I better text B#2 as I was supposed to meet him for lunch. Once I texted him he was very sweet and offered to come to my rescue and see if he could fix it. Bonus points for him. :D So our date started at 11:30 with him coming to Jen's condo, and tinkering under my hood (literally). The waiting for him to come was the hard part as I was getting more nervous by the minute. But I looked out the window and I saw him.......he rang the buzzer.......I am about the throw up at this time

We met, he is nice and good looking and mmmm all sorts of yummy. We talk and talk and he tinkers and then we wait for the tow truck as in the end he couldn't fix it, and he really wanted to be the hero and fix it. He drives me over to fix it place and I book it in.

Then I call the ex....... which is always fun....he was his typical asshatty self and demanded that I come back that night, its not his problem. Wow hes a grown up.

So B#2 offered to drive me home. We had lunch, which was now like 3 in the afternoon, and then he drove me two hours home.

So to make a long story short, He has made me floopy once again :D

teehee

i quit

2008-09-18T08:48:00.001-07:00

Ok so I have come to some conclusions about online dating.

I am very bitter and can not seem to handle rejection well, I mean really who does...right.

Men, no scratch that, Boys......seem to think with their penis and seem to be interested in whats south......fyi! I have a brain.

I have become very paranoid that these men are deviants and I will end up on the evening news.

I think I need to step away from the online dating and just let whats supposed to happen ....happen... whatever that is.

:D

ahhh kids :D

2008-09-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

So My 7 almost 8 year old daughter has this thing about her and it reminds me of me. With 4 kids in the house it tends to get ....well....a little chaotic. Someone is crying, someone is yelling at someone else, chaos.

Hope, my spunky daughter, usually turns to me and says with a smile....

"It's going to be a GREAT day, right mommy" hahaha...and then i say "YES...its going to be a great day."

So...when you find yourself not so happy....think inside....that 'it's going to be a great day!"

:D

hm.

2008-09-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

So Online Dating Sucks...and it Sucks ASS!

It is just not fun anymore. I get a couple of pings, messages etc. and I get a boost and feel good about myself. Then, on the other hand, there are the jerks who (a) want cyber sex (b) don't message back or (c) say they will then never do. So the boost you had .......deflates and you become this angry, bitter, bitchy person who wants to go and punch something, kick something or shoot teeny tiny paintballs at to release the feelings of inadequacy.

So I think I may give up. I may remove myself and just be happy with me, who at the moment, is bitter and angry :D

-sigh-

why

2008-09-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

So I went to work...after getting a million kids ready for school. I come home and I am alone eating my spaghetti, when I get pinged by my MIL (mother in law).

She says she has bad news, Grandpa just died. I was shocked. It isn't really shocking considering he had an aneurism and we knew it was coming, just didnt think it was going to be today.

We were fairly close, he would always stop by the house and visit the kids, he was Gramps.

So sitting here stunned, thinking why....why do people have to die....

and....I feel bad because I was there where he was living and I didnt say hello. Since the seperation and divorce I didnt think he liked me too much....but I didnt say hello. Dam....

Why.

I Was Blocked! Wicked!

2008-09-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

Alright, so yesterday and pretty much the last week, I have been very blah...and meh. (*Just an aside, I never knew what 'meh' meant, I do now....:D)

This whole online dating thing, well I don't have trouble getting hits, but the trouble lies in me. I like people, I like attention, and I like well....SEX. I am a thinker, I think with my heart and not my head, and it winds me up falling head over heals and heart broken. So.....once again I am online and I am 'fishin'. I happen upon an attractive guy, doesn't seem to to bad, mentions some sort of crap about censoring out children from these websites as its dangerous......yadda yadda yadda...

So I send him a message, and I say.....(keep in mind this is from memory as I deleted all the messages)

Me: Hi....happened upon your profile, thought I would say Hello. I agree with you about the children. Lets chat sometime. C.

He messages me back the next day and says....

Him: I had some neices and nephews and I took them off. Sure.....Y

So then I was like Sure? ....and what the f..k does the Y stand for....

I had several suggestions from Jenn...teehee...Yoda was my favorite :D

So I message back and say..

Me: Well message me. And btw what does the 'y' stand for....

Him: What does the 'c' stand for....

Me: I asked you first.....My name is Cassie. I showed you mine now you show me yours...

Him: Yvan.....what else you gonna show?

Me: Yvan....working on figuring it out. I can show you my.....sparlking personality....my brain.....tsk tsk I am not that kind of girl. (shut up...)

So then it went on for a couple of more messages about me wanting love and dating and dinner at least and he wanting lap dancing. So in the end.....after I say no.....

Him: Why don't you go and spend time with your four kids.

Me: I said they are all in bed and its mommy time...

Now keep in mind....I had had some Big Girl Lemonade (citrus vodka and lemonade, yummmy) and I am bitter, and lets face it, bitchy...so I thought NO I am not letting this asshole get away with being a jerk....so I say

Me: You know its guys like you that give online dating a bad name. Just because a girl shows interest doesnt mean they want to tear their panties off.

to which he replys....

Him: well to begin w/...don't kid yourself...you''re not even my type...sometimes we say things to get rid of you'se cows....4 kids..think I'm interested?? **** no!!!

love the you'se cows (HAHA) and before I could respond and say he was an asshole and no wonder he was single he blocked me :D

Swwwweeeeeeeeeeet!

love the online dating :D so I have taken some advice that someone I have never met but it is quite knowledgeable said and I will quote them now....

I will stop 'arse-fuckin' on these online dating sites and go to a hotel bar with my good friend Jenn and find me a nice man :D

Update

2008-09-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

Ok Soooooo my crazy apparently has not scared Mr. Phone Sex away......

He told me I think too much (this is true) and to Relax....( which is also a good idea)

I am hoping that he is interested in me and not just a piece....I guess time will tell...:D

At any rate, thinking of dropping the whole online dating thing. I can appreciate how it works for some and they meet their true love soul mate but ....not having much luck.

my crazy

2008-09-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

So I am a girl. Sometimes girls get hormonal.....people usually call it PMS. When I get hormonal I sometimes feel insecure and sorry for myself, especially now, when I am trying to find someone to spend time with. Its hard when I get these feelings of inadequacy and s

I am chatting with this guy and I unload my 'crazy' on him. I do believe I have scared him away, possibly because of what I said.

I hope not, I hope my 'crazy' hasn't scared him away. Oh well, I can't apologize. We all have a touch of crazy. right?

empty nest.......already?

2008-09-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

So it is that time of year again.....back to school. My oldest daughter went into grade 4, doesn't like school much, second one down went into grade 2, so far so good. My son starts kindergarten and he goes twice sometimes three times a week all day like his sisters. I have mixed feelings about this. I am happy for him because he is very bright and could use some structure and interaction with his peers but also, sad because hes my little boy and he is out there away from me. And now, my little baby girl, who will be three in a couple of weeks, may be going to preschool everyday. -heaves a BIIIIIG sigh-

Don't get me wrong, I will enjoy the free time but ....still...Soon they will be old and starting their own lives....dramatic hmmm yes :D

I solemnly swear......

2008-08-30T06:38:00.001-07:00

Ok so I have established that I may have an addiction....

to

SEX!

I seem to want to have sex, and usually do, on the first date and then the boys don't talk to me. I think I may be giving it up too quickly......hmmm ok.

So I solemnly swear, that I, Cassie Williams, will not have sex, until I am in some sort of relationship. Relationship meaning more than one date :S .

You are all my witnesses.

human nature....pffft!

2008-08-29T06:48:00.001-07:00

I think human nature can kiss my ass......

We want the 'things' we can't have and the 'things' we don't want...end up finding us.

Its not fair....

Ok so I hearted this guy and he up and went and got himself a girlfriend, passing me by. meh whatever. I move on and try to pick up the shattered pieces of my life and find a very nice, cute, normal (very important) man, who yeah, isn't in a relationship place right now.

FUUUUUUCK!

thank you for listening..

:D

Word of the Day

2008-08-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

The definition according to Cassipedia...

floopy
Part of speech: adjective

Pronounciation: [floo-py]

Definition: The butterfly feeling in the stomach when someone of the opposite sex texts, phones, emails, talks to, looks at, touches or any of the above in any order.

Usuage: "O my god it's ____ calling me. He makes me all floopy!"...."I wish he didn't make me feel floopy".

So there you have it. The Word of the day is Floopy. Please use this word at least once in your lifetime.

I heart my job.

2008-07-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

So I live in a small town. I live in one of the small towns that makes up the Crowsnest Pass. It is so small there is not even a regular grocery store here but there are two bars and a post office haha go figure.

I work in the other small town down the highway. I work in a store called the Bargain Shop. It is a cross between Zellers and Walmart and Kmart. We sell almost everything except for perishable food.

I work part part part time. I mean its like maybe 8 hours a week and it isn't alot but it gets me out of the house and with the grown ups. The reason I love it ...its not because of the high wage as thats a laugh, its not because of the things I actually do, stocking shelves is not very challenging. Its because of the people I encounter on a regular basis.

Because its a small town you get to know the people that frequent the Bargain Shop. I especially like the 'nice' elderly people and even the old crotchety ones. They just make it all worthwhile. I even got tipped for my trouble.

I heart my job.

Random Thoughts

2008-07-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

I would like to post these random thoughts I have. I would like to call them a little bit of Murphy's Law and a little bit Cassie :D

When I could not find my ring that I bought and loved, I had to buy another one, and then found it the next day.

Why do we, as human beings, always want the things we can't have the most.

Why do I watch Kids TV when I am alone.

Why do the animals on these shows walk and talk but also have pets......it's like Goofy is a dog, he can walk and talk, but Pluto, who is also a dog, can't.

The phone always rings when I am changing a diaper or going to the bathroom.

Ok....a little look inside my scary mind :D

Have a good day

There is always one.

2008-07-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

So you know when you go to any sort of anything and there is alot of people there is always one that stands out from the rest. This guy was right beside us and man o man if he didn't have a girlfriend.......;)

Besides his incredible odor or the way he clapped his hands to the music or the ever sexy hat head it was the way he would

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! to the music.

HOT!

Hot!

girlz on the looooose ......again...:D

2008-07-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

So here is how my weekend went.....

Friday

Drove all 4 of my lovely children to their nana's house and proceeded to Calgary where we were to go to the Stampede to see two singers, Jully Black and Natasha Bedingfield.

So far so good.....

I get to Jens condo....I sneak into her underground parking so I don't have to worry about the code and then call her, as she suggested I might get lost. She knows me so well.

We get dressed up in our cowboy wear (ok just a cowboy hat) and we board the C-Train to go to the grounds.

We get there, we are starving, something about the smell of deep fried anything to send ones stomach a flutter, so we get our food of choice. Me a really big Corn Dog covered in Mustard (love the penis shaped food teehee;)) and Jen a bison burger and we both got a lemondade. Delicious!

We wandered, we watched sound checks, we wandered somemore. Watched Jully Black and Natasha Bedingfield, both shows were awesome. The ONLY bad things were the rowdy teenagers, the people that would cut throught he crowd always at Jen and the pot....gotta love outdoor concerts :D

We all had the munchies (wonder why) so we got some mini donuts....also delicious. We were tired, as it was past our bedtime(11 p.m.), so we decide to go back to the condo via Ctrain. But Jen and all her brilliance thought if we go the opposite direction we would avoid the crowds and she was right. Except for the possible vomiting girl a few seats back all was good there ....:S

We chatted for a bit and then went to sleep.

Saturday

Slept in until 10 ish ( the couch was awesome )....woke up a with pot hangover not good....browsed the computer and had a shower. Decided to go to the mall for some shopping :D and we were starving....I had my usual of chinese food which was good and I needed a coffee fix, went to the closing Starbucks and got my coffee for free....LOVE that!

Bought a few things one was a red purse and some shirts, Jen bought a dress, all in all a success. Went to walmart got a few more things, went to subway got our dinner.

We thought a nap would be a good idea if we were to go out later so we did that and then got ready to go to the local pub. We stayed for an hour wow we are animals :D. We had some pub food, which was really to much food, and a beverage and then made our way back to Jens.

Luckily, Jen has two laptops so we both sat on the couch and we browsed the online dating sites. We both got a few messages and a few requests for instant messaging and I received this one from a 28 year old in Ontario. He was cute and beefy, mmmmm so I thought this could be fun. I start chatting and within two lines of our conversation it takes a turn down the 'sex talk' road. So for assistance, I turn to my wing woman Jen for some help ;)

We were totally messing with this guy and we were laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt and we were crying....it was awesome.

This guy was determined to have cyber sex and was going to satisfy himself whether I was participating or not hahaha. Little did I know I had not blocked these types of conversations so I quickly did that, but it was funny while it lasted :D

Went to bed after all that as it was 3 in the morning.

Sunday

Woke up waaaaaay to early, felt tired and dragged out.....went for breakfast. Then I drove home from there...

All in all it was a fabulous weekend with a great friend. Thanks Jen and thanks for your couch ;)

stupid boys

2008-07-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

Ok I officially give up....

I don't understand them....they are complex and confusing.

They don't communicate, they don't express themselves.

I think I will become a lesbian, at least I know my people.

stupid boys

little black dress

2008-07-08T22:15:00.000-07:00

She sees him out of the corner of her eye, she can't help but notice him, tall, handsome, elegant. She is only half listening to the conversation with the other ladies about throw pillows and cotton sheets. She turns and catches his attention.

She excuses herself and makes her way out of the party towards the powder room. She closes the door behind her and takes a look in the mirror. She is flushed and nervous.

She hears a light tap on the door.

He enters and they don't speak. His hands cup her face and draws his lips to hers. The kissing is slow at first and then becomes more urgent. He turns her so she is leaning agains the counter facing the mirror. He kisses her neck, her shoulder.

His pants fall to the floor with a gentle clink as the belt hits the linoleum. He gently raises her dress to discover that she is not wearing panties. He enters her and she slowly moans. They become one with each other, grabbing, kissing moaning. The 'come' together in the height of ecstacy and totally lose control.

After they finish and catch their breath, she lowers her little black dress and he pulls up his pants. He opens the door and slips out. She waits a few minutes and then makes her way back to the party.

...to be or not to be

2008-06-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I find myself at and interesting stage of my life. I am now, 35, I am in between being married and single, I have 4 children, I think I look pretty good, and I seem to be attractive to the opposite sex.

I had two sort of 'relationships' in this past year. One was with an old High School Boyfriend whom I adore (and still do) and one was with a guy that I met off of Facebook whom sold me the stars and gave me the rocks. Hes an ass, and always will be :D

Ok so here is my dilemma, not sure if that is the right word....ok

I believe there are two types of woman.
1. Casual Sex Types
2 Non Casual Sex Types

I am more of a number 2 because I can have sex (pretty ok with that ) but then emotions come into and I start to feel bad about myself, the whole giving the milk away for free, when he didn't buy the cow (expression). As well, I wonder why I can't find a good man and have sex at the same time, I am a catch, I am a good person, I am lovely.

So, now......

I have had a semi casual sexual relationship with BF from High School because he is safe, familiar, I know his history and hes gooooood.

I have been propositioned by someone else now and I am considering it. He is a guy I used to work with, I don't know a whole lot about him, his name, where he lives, he has a cat, but he is leaving at the end of July. This would be a once only kind of thing and I am on the fence.....not to mention I feel a little guilty about BF and I know thats crazy, because its a casual thing.....I am so fuuuuuucked up.

A wise person told me once (ok it was Jenn) that we are not casual sex type girls

easy yes...casual no :D

me thinks i have got it....

2008-06-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

Ok so its been quite a while since I last posted...but ya know life gets in the way and takes you down a crazy road. The days meld into each other and before you know weeks have passed.

I digress...

Ok so I too have joined the online dating scene (see what i do for my friends) and I think I have sort of come to some conclusions.

1. I either get men who are like jail bait or ...who are waaaaay to old....the ones who are in the 'range' are either psychotic looking or ....well less than savoury - call me shallow...meh whatever.

2. If they dont have their picture its for a goooood reason.

3. Today I have a married man hitting on me....WTF!

ok...i am not taking it tooo seriously and quite frankly I am using it to stalk the fish that got away......

typical

2008-05-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Ok so here is a typical 'cassie' moment...................

My son, the only boy I have, graduated today. He is 4 and super smart and graduated from preschool to kindergarten. How precious right.....

So I finally have come into the age of digital cameras and have one and I am very excited by this. I see that it is getting low on batteries, so I decide that I better buy some.

I go to my work and I buy some. First of all, I am cheap and I hate to spend money on batteries, but i know if i buy cheap ass ones, I will take one picture and the bloody thing will die on me. So I buy duracell.

I get to the school, I take a picture of my boy the graduate. It starts to flash at me so I am happy because I bought batteries.

I open the back

it takes AAA

I bought AA....

there you have it, and the saga continues :D

Not So Favorite

2008-05-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

So with the good comes the bad. So here is my list of Pet Peeves and Things I don't like. I am a very happy, positive, glass is half full kind of gal so I am not sure how long this list will be. So here it goes...

1. Rude people (I mean ignorant, mean rude to your face type rude)
2. Traffic jams on hot days
3. When you cant open something no matter how hard you try (Pickles....jenn , wink wink)
4. When the light switch is set to the on position when its not on.....(AHHHH cant stand that one)
5. Confrontation of any kind ( I avoid it as much as possible)
6. When people don't like me for no good reason(it bothers me and drives me crazy)

I am sure there are more, and when it happens I will say to myself, probably out loud, ah I should have put that on my list.

:D

..just once...

2008-05-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

..just once..

...just once I would like to be the 'chasee' not the 'chaser'

....just once I would like to have someones heart ache for ME

...just once I would like to NOT think about him when I go to sleep at night and when i wake up in the morning..

....just once I would like to stop thinking of his touch, his kisses, his want....

...just once I would like him to embrace me and say, "I want you, I need you, I can not go on one more second without you"

...just once I wish it wasn't so complicated...

...just once I want to have sex with no emotion...

...just once I would like to think with my head and not with my heart...

...just once.

silence

2008-05-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting here on the computer (gasp, shocking) and its quiet. It is very, very, eerily quiet but not in a bad way. There are no sounds of laughter, no chatter, no fighting, no children. When the situation changed and I found myself with more 'me' time I did not know what to do with myself. Now, I enjoy the silence. I can watch what I want and do what I want for the first time in a long time.

I am awakened in the silence.

"Favorite Things..."

2008-05-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ok ...so you know that song from the sound of music...Brown paper packages tied up with strings......These are a few of my favorite things..

(and by the way i have that song stuck in my head, if any of you read this and get it stuck in your head i apologize, actually i don't hahahahahahahah enjoy)

so here is my list

1. Anything my children do to make me laugh hard and out loud
2. Hugs and kisses from said children :D
3. My cat Fiona, shes psychotic but she is my best friend
4. Tingly lip gloss
5. Flowers for no reason
6. My old friends who have become new again...love you guys
7. shoes, any color and description...come on i am a girl ;)
8. Doing this ........alot and :D :D too....on the computer
9. Slow soft kisses
10. Shopping
11. anything pink
12. Lets be honest, 'sex' in general...
13. Facebook
14. and now Blogging

I am sure there are more...but for now its a start

My first Blog...

2008-05-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Ok so here I am, I am blogging....wow i am sooooo happy to be here :D

hahaha ok i am dork, ask Jenn she will tell ya. I have alot to say but don't know how to say it, I am a virgin of sorts....

so be gentle

c